In a market flooded with microbrands, it’s easy to fall into the trap of predictability. Most releases stick to a familiar formula: divers, chronographs, or classic three-handers that tell time the way we’ve always seen it — neat, orderly, predictable. But every so often, a watch emerges that challenges this notion, transforming mere wristwear into a canvas for storytelling, humor, and art. Mr Jones Watches does precisely that. Founded in 2007 by designer Crispin Jones, Mr Jones Watches began as a one-man operation in London, creating quirky, conversation-starting timepieces from his home. His designs were deliberately unconventional, breaking away from the traditional markers of watchmaking and instead using the dial as a canvas for narrative and humor. As the designs gained attention, Crispin invited artists, illustrators, and creatives to collaborate, producing watches that were as much about storytelling as timekeeping. Today, after seventeen years and hundreds of distinct designs, Mr Jones Watches remains proudly independent, with two workshops in London. Each watch is designed, hand-assembled, and finished in-house, ensuring that every piece carries the brand’s signature personality while being sustainably made in the UK. This background is crucial to understanding why “Beam Me Up!” exists. It isn’t just a watch; it’s a continuation of Mr Jones’ mission: to make time fun again, to make wearers smile, and to turn a functional object into a whimsical narrative.
Upon receiving the watch, the experience starts with the packaging — a simple, rectangular cardboard box, recyclable and visually pleasing with all the graphics. Mr Jones Watches has always paid attention to presentation, and it shows here. Inside, you’ll find the watch itself, accompanied by an instruction manual and warranty card. While there’s no overt luxury frill, the packaging immediately conveys a sense of character and thoughtfulness, a signature of the brand. The first glance at the watch leaves a strong impression. The concept — an alien spacecraft beaming up a pig — is instantly charming, a playful narrative unfolding across your wrist. It’s not designed to be a precise tool for timekeeping in the traditional sense; rather, it is meant to spark conversation, evoke a smile, and make you see time in a delightfully imaginative way. The whimsical charm of the dial immediately sets the tone for the watch and reflects Mr Jones’ long-standing mission: to make time fun again.
The case of the “Beam Me Up!” is crafted from 316L stainless steel. The finishing is a mix of polished surfaces with subtle satin brushing along the sides, giving it a versatile aesthetic that balances refinement with casual wearability. Interestingly, the sample I received features a case that differs from the one displayed on Mr Jones’ website. Typically, this design appears on the mechanical version of the watch, which is slightly larger, suggesting either older promotional photos or just a mistake. Dimensionally, the case measures 37mm in diameter and 10.5mm in thickness, with a lug-to-lug measurement of 46.7mm. On paper, 37mm might seem modest, but the extended lugs make it wear closer to a 39mm watch, providing a more substantial wrist presence. The lugs themselves are long and slender, contributing to a graceful silhouette.
At 3 o’clock, a signed push-pull crown allows you to adjust the time, though a slightly larger crown might improve ergonomics. Curiously, there’s a faux crown positioned at 9 o’clock, a quirky visual symmetry rather than a functional necessity. The caseback is snap-on and features the watch’s name, “BEAM ME UP! By Xavier Broche,” along with specifications and a charming engraved illustration of the pig being abducted. While snap-on casebacks are unusual in modern watches, where screw-down versions dominate for enhanced durability, it seems Mr Jones intentionally leans into a vintage-inspired aesthetic. Water resistance is rated at 5ATM, though I’d exercise caution — snap-on backs can be prone to leaks, and this isn’t a watch you’d want to test in the rain. Topping the watch is a flat sapphire crystal, which appears to lack anti-reflective coating but offers solid scratch resistance.
Dial is where the “Beam Me Up!” truly comes alive. Mr Jones Watches excels in transforming dials into storytelling canvases, and Xavier Broche’s design is a masterclass in whimsy. The dial features a blue-turquoise backdrop, depicting a flying saucer hovering above a serene countryside farm. Below, a cow curiously observes the alien presence while an inquisitive little piglet stands at the heart of the narrative. It’s a playful scenario, evoking humor and a childlike sense of wonder. Time-telling on this watch is an unconventional delight. The ray emanating from the flying saucer serves as the minute hand, while the pig itself indicates the hour — a clever and humorous twist that reinforces the narrative. Xavier Broche explains his inspiration: “I wanted to describe an alien encounter in a playful way. I imagined how it would be for a simple pig to be at the heart of this historic event. I found it funny to imagine the alien travelling endlessly across space searching for intelligent life, only to encounter a bewildered pig at the end of this epic journey! Don’t worry about the pig though – he’ll outwit the alien in the end!”
The result is visually arresting. The interplay of blue and turquoise, enhanced by subtle gradients, gives the dial depth and vibrancy, while the metallic sheen of the case and the warmth of the vintage leather strap ensure the dial remains the star. Each dial is hand-finished in London, adding a personal, artisanal touch that stands out in today’s era of mass production.
Inside the quartz edition of the “Beam Me Up!” beats a simple Ronda 705 movement, a reliable single-jewel quartz engine widely used in affordable timepieces. While quartz movements often lack the fascination of mechanical calibers, they offer dependable accuracy, minimal maintenance, and a long battery life — in this case, about 2–3 years. For those interested, the automatic version of this watch provides a more traditional horological experience, though it carries a higher price point. Here, the quartz movement suits the playful nature of the watch perfectly: it keeps the narrative front and center rather than drawing attention to the mechanics themselves. For a watch whose primary appeal lies in its storytelling and design, a simple, reliable movement is entirely appropriate.
Accompanying the “Beam Me Up!” is a brown suede leather strap. Unlike many standard suede straps, this one is exceptionally soft, lending the watch an inviting tactile quality. The stitching is subtle, with brown thread maintaining a clean, understated look. On the underside, a lighter leather contrasts softly against the suede, and the strap is signed with the Mr Jones logo for a touch of authenticity. The strap tapers from 18mm at the lugs to 16mm at the buckle, maintaining proportions that complement the modest case size. Quick-release spring bars make strap changes effortless, allowing the wearer to personalize the watch with minimal hassle. The signed stainless steel buckle is polished, straightforward, and functional, letting the playful dial remain the focal point. Overall, the strap balances comfort with visual charm, perfectly matching the watch’s whimsical character.
The Mr Jones “Beam Me Up!” is not a watch for the purist seeking technical precision or classical elegance. It doesn’t aim to be a tool for split-second timing or a showcase of haute horology. Instead, it’s a celebration of imagination, humor, and narrative in watchmaking. From the moment it arrives in its eco-friendly packaging to the joyful discovery of the dial’s alien encounter, it reminds us that watches can be more than just instruments of time — they can be storytellers. The case, while modest and occasionally quirky in its design choices — such as the snap-on caseback and faux crown — is solid and thoughtfully finished. The dial steals the show, with Xavier Broche’s art transforming a standard wristwatch into a miniature narrative universe. The Ronda quartz movement, while unassuming, is reliable and suits the watch’s playful purpose. The soft suede strap ties everything together, offering comfort while complementing the overall aesthetic.
For collectors or enthusiasts interested in microbrands, Mr Jones Watches offers something truly distinct. They challenge the conventional notion of what a watch should be, inviting wearers to enjoy time as a playful, creative experience. “Beam Me Up!” is a testament to this philosophy — a watch that sparks conversations, evokes smiles, and brings a touch of whimsy to an otherwise predictable market. In short, if you’re looking for a watch that tells a story rather than just the hour, one that invites laughter and curiosity, the “Beam Me Up!” is a delightful choice. It’s a reminder that in the world of horology, creativity and joy are as valuable as precision and mechanics. A pig outwitting aliens may seem absurd, but on this wrist, it feels perfectly natural — and entirely charming.
KaminskyBlog 